I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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