My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize