You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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