I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
