quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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