your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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