the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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