This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
