is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
