do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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