you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Randomize
