how can u be prego again
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
