So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
