About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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