Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
