dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
