When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
