so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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