I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
