What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
