I just threw up on my dentist
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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