Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
