i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
