do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
