I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
