Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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