your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize