There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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