Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
