ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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