how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
