Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize