how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
