Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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