people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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