I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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