I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
