good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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