I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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