I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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