At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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