Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
