i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
