she was so not down for the gang bang
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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