In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
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