i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
