he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
