erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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