3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
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