I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
