Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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