Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
