Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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