Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
