lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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