If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
