I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
