You really coming over, don't trick.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I am mentally ready for anal.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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