I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
