so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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