don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize