I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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