he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
