do herpes really smell.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
