i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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