This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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